Ade has played for the club for many years; demonstrating this is the fact that he appears on the club’s first ever scorecard on the play-cricket website back in 1996. Ade scored 29* that day and the play-cricket website has this down as his personal best. Ade’s position in the batting order is a bone of contention for him, with him being nailed on to bat at No11 for the First XI most weeks. He claims to have hit 50s; I am not quite sure when that happened and I am inclined to believe that play-cricket provides a more accurate assessment of his ability as a batsman.

 Notwithstanding that, Ade possesses a sound defensive technique and offers more than just an ability to hold up an end. However, he operates under the constant spectre of being “timed out”. On the odd occasion that he is required to bat, he usually has not realised until the ninth wicket has fallen. There follows a mad scramble for his equipment and his meat is murder inspired helmet that bears the immortal slogan, “make lunch, not war”. Sadly that helmet was retired during the 2008 season.

 Ade also penned the club’s legendary fanzine Slogmental and coined the phrase of the same name. He was nominated for both Booker and Turner prizes for this cartoon publication. Whilst he was commended at the relevant awards ceremonies, “for managing to get Viz to explode onto the pages of the Wisden Cricketer”, he nevertheless fell short.  

 Ade also has the ability to levitate.

 Despite the above suggesting that Ade is something of a Court Jester, his wicketkeeping is first rate. He is capable of standing up to most of the club’s seamers and provides the threat of outrageous leg side stumpings off them. Once in a game against Dymchurch, Ade managed to take a leg side catch whilst standing up and stump the batsman all in the same motion. He finished the 2008 season with more dismissals than any of the other 84 wicketkeepers in the KVL. TB Falcon is planning on proposing to Ade on St. Valentine’s Day.